Falter

Forget it. Such things done without passion or the slightest notion of interest would rather left undone by people like me.I wanted to write an four thousand word essay for a world bank competition, regarding how would I had shape a city and what are the opportunities and chances being restricted in my country. Though I really wanted to make a name for myself whenever chance came, but every time is either I was bog down by mounts of work or I just felt like not starting at all.

Two years back and since, I’m still the same me, the person who wanted to achieve extreme heights but the incapable me always even up burnt and overrun by emotional fear and stress. I tried hard to get out from this limbo, thinking one day I would finally someone that can really appreciate the same things that I had on my mind. What worse was I was skeptical at everything I see, deemed myself as utter failure, and even I manage to gain success, I can only think of myself as on top of a big pile of rubbish.

Sure everyone can say to themselves that everything that is bad will eventually you’ll gain something good out of it, but I say what good is there is where everyone got through it the easy way? It’s just an optimistic person thinking positive, every time. And when all was too much of a burden, I crashed and fell into depression, thinking that everything that I’ve done so far was just a useless power struggle from the binds of utter fate.

But I’ve ne’er regret what I’ve done so far during this two years. Yes, it’s a struggle but nonetheless when is a fight for greater freedom, what’s not to be glad and happy about it? The road is hard, coarse, rough and topsy turvy but at least I was going somewhere. I’ve develop high tolerances against idiots and got into top fifteen percent of the university ranking.

When people tell me they’d been through a lot, I tell them I’ve been through much more; whine not but remember: ” Aim for the stars and hope to land on the moon “. As long as you have interest and passion in the things you do, eventually it all adds up and I’ll understand that all this while I was gathering my nuts and bolts to built a big machine. 🙂

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